You have tormented my friends for too long and now I find out you hate me because you're jealous WTF. Get over your self you seriously need a reality check that the world doesn't revolve around you and your selfish-ness. Please just do everyone a favor and get the hell over yourself. Everything that has happened is your fault why can't you just move on. When this started I didn't hate you, in fact the majority of the group didn't hate you but now, now you've twisted this so out of proportion and now no one likes you. It's not because you're different it's because you brought this upon yourself and you know what I don't care if you read this and call me into the office and cry and convince the teacher that you're the victim and I get suspended because if that happens I will say what everyone else wants to say and it'll be done because I would have already been suspended. So just do us all a favor and get the hell over yourself. Kay?
Angrier than ever.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Drama with Friends
If you read this I know how you're going to take it-bad- so just as a fore note I would like to apologize for what I'm going to say and if it hurts your feeling. I just want peace and so I'm going to tell the truth. Just say sorry.
Kay so we all know that one friend who we just can't get the message to, that one friend that just wont listen. Maybe that "friend" just doesn't know how to say their sorry. That's the problem I'm dealing with, not directly dealing with but all of my friends have a new found? Maybe old found? hatred for this girl who was once a friend to everyone in our little group but then words were said and perhaps misunderstood. Then this so called "friend" blew it completely out of proportion! She took what was said and twisted words and actions and moved them into something completely twisted. Now lets not think she's completely to blame cause she isn't not in the least. The problem here with my group and her is stubbornness! They can't get over themselves. This Friend holds grudges and just doesn't know how to say sorry maybe she was never taught to include sorry in her vocabulary. Whatever the case I have personally never heard her utter a sincere sorry, and nor has anyone else. So what I'm saying is maybe we should all be the bigger person and say sorry... For crying out loud it's one freaking word 5 letters just say it and mean it and even if you don't mean it you should at least pretend to mean it because a bit of advice.... There's no way that anyone over here is gonna say it. Know why? same reason you won't say it because you're too hard headed!
I am writing this because I am so done with this drama, I don't like picking sides I actually hate it but if it comes down to it I'm not going to pick you're side. I don't want you to hate me and I don't want to hate you but if this goes any further someone is going to end up hating the other one. I don't want that.
Kay so we all know that one friend who we just can't get the message to, that one friend that just wont listen. Maybe that "friend" just doesn't know how to say their sorry. That's the problem I'm dealing with, not directly dealing with but all of my friends have a new found? Maybe old found? hatred for this girl who was once a friend to everyone in our little group but then words were said and perhaps misunderstood. Then this so called "friend" blew it completely out of proportion! She took what was said and twisted words and actions and moved them into something completely twisted. Now lets not think she's completely to blame cause she isn't not in the least. The problem here with my group and her is stubbornness! They can't get over themselves. This Friend holds grudges and just doesn't know how to say sorry maybe she was never taught to include sorry in her vocabulary. Whatever the case I have personally never heard her utter a sincere sorry, and nor has anyone else. So what I'm saying is maybe we should all be the bigger person and say sorry... For crying out loud it's one freaking word 5 letters just say it and mean it and even if you don't mean it you should at least pretend to mean it because a bit of advice.... There's no way that anyone over here is gonna say it. Know why? same reason you won't say it because you're too hard headed!
I am writing this because I am so done with this drama, I don't like picking sides I actually hate it but if it comes down to it I'm not going to pick you're side. I don't want you to hate me and I don't want to hate you but if this goes any further someone is going to end up hating the other one. I don't want that.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Life right now seems to be on a steady downward spiral toward nothing. Every little thing that is going on seems to piss me off, all the drama between my friends, the hatred they feel for one another, my parents (shocker) and just every little thing. Lets start with my friends. We used to get along fine then one little miniscule argument happened and boom everyone exploded with what seemed like anger that had been building up and up till finally they all just blew at the same time. I guess that my anger- toward what I don't know- has been building up too and it's about to bubble over the top rim and cascade down the mountain and scorch everyone standing at the bottom.
I love my friends I really do but they all have changed they all grow and separate, and I guess it's just teen age nature to hate someone (doesn't matter who) just for the sake of hating. Maybe the person who is hated did something to cause every one to hate him/her or maybe they were just sitting around one day and someone decided that they were gonna hate on them. Or maybe it didn't start like that at all maybe there is some underlying cause in the hater that just makes them want to hate or for that matter in the hated, their personality or their actions may have caused them to be the hated or hate. Whatever the reason I guess it's just HUMAN nature to do so. On a side note if you are reading this please don't be angry I don't hate you I don't really hate anyone and thinking back we used to be good friends and I would absolutely hate if when we look across the room at each other that one of us is full of hatred so please if you ever read this I don't hate you, and I'm sorry.
On to my parents, well what more need I say? What teenager hasn't at some point been completely fed up with there parents that their only wish is that they get to leave this crap hole of a house and this dead end of a town and move far away, as far away as they can possibly get. I don't hate my parents but just sometimes and especially now they piss me off, it seems the older I get the more restricitions are being put on me and it's all just weighing me down. Each and every new rule is just another brick placed on the board lying on top of me and the more they stack the closer I get to being squished. Squished between this and that doesn't -in my view at least- seem like a fitting way to die.
All I want at this point, something that could make the bubbling stop and spare the people at the bottom of the hill all I want is to be left alone to be given freedom. I'm not talking live on my own freedoms I'm talking teenage freedoms, freedoms that allow me to be a teenager. I want to make a few bad choices and I want to learn from them. Is that really so hard to understand? I mean come on. I just want my parents to trust me enough to go to a party and or even go to a friends house with out being suspicious of me "fucking my boyfriend" while I'm there. Like seriously I've never done anything bad and they still don't trust me. My friends who've ran away and called the cops on their own parents before have more freedoms than me. So that just leads me to believe that my parents don't think they can trust me, and yes I get the whole "oh were just trying to protect you from the mistakes we've made" but honestly those were mistakes that they made and I will not make the same ones, and you know what I sound like a whiny little bitch because I'm ranting about friends and parents and you know what you don't have to read my blog! All I want is some fucking freedom and not to be what when who where and why because it doesn't matter.
I love my friends I really do but they all have changed they all grow and separate, and I guess it's just teen age nature to hate someone (doesn't matter who) just for the sake of hating. Maybe the person who is hated did something to cause every one to hate him/her or maybe they were just sitting around one day and someone decided that they were gonna hate on them. Or maybe it didn't start like that at all maybe there is some underlying cause in the hater that just makes them want to hate or for that matter in the hated, their personality or their actions may have caused them to be the hated or hate. Whatever the reason I guess it's just HUMAN nature to do so. On a side note if you are reading this please don't be angry I don't hate you I don't really hate anyone and thinking back we used to be good friends and I would absolutely hate if when we look across the room at each other that one of us is full of hatred so please if you ever read this I don't hate you, and I'm sorry.
On to my parents, well what more need I say? What teenager hasn't at some point been completely fed up with there parents that their only wish is that they get to leave this crap hole of a house and this dead end of a town and move far away, as far away as they can possibly get. I don't hate my parents but just sometimes and especially now they piss me off, it seems the older I get the more restricitions are being put on me and it's all just weighing me down. Each and every new rule is just another brick placed on the board lying on top of me and the more they stack the closer I get to being squished. Squished between this and that doesn't -in my view at least- seem like a fitting way to die.
All I want at this point, something that could make the bubbling stop and spare the people at the bottom of the hill all I want is to be left alone to be given freedom. I'm not talking live on my own freedoms I'm talking teenage freedoms, freedoms that allow me to be a teenager. I want to make a few bad choices and I want to learn from them. Is that really so hard to understand? I mean come on. I just want my parents to trust me enough to go to a party and or even go to a friends house with out being suspicious of me "fucking my boyfriend" while I'm there. Like seriously I've never done anything bad and they still don't trust me. My friends who've ran away and called the cops on their own parents before have more freedoms than me. So that just leads me to believe that my parents don't think they can trust me, and yes I get the whole "oh were just trying to protect you from the mistakes we've made" but honestly those were mistakes that they made and I will not make the same ones, and you know what I sound like a whiny little bitch because I'm ranting about friends and parents and you know what you don't have to read my blog! All I want is some fucking freedom and not to be what when who where and why because it doesn't matter.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Half a World Away
At this point in life I should be having the time of my life, for the most part I am. I have the most amazing boyfriend who I would follow to the ends of the earth and back. I have the most amazing friends who are fun and outgoing. There's something missing though. I can't quite put my finger on it but there is something missing and I think it starts with the friends I've lost or just don't feel as close as we once were. Something inside makes me feel like those friends were there to cry on, to trust. Now lets not think I can't trust my current friends because I do, I trust them. But in my mind I trusted my "past" friends with much much more than I have ever confided with my new friends. I went through a phase in middle school where nothing was right and every thing was on a steady down hill roll and they were always there for me, they were the shoulder that I chose to cry on or the ear through the phone that I would sob to.
I'm not completely sure that's the reason I feel the way I'm feeling right now. I just feel different like there's a void. I sort of feel like I'm not doing the teenage thing. I feel that by being "good" I'm missing out on the high school experience that everyone talks about years later. The sex the booze and the drugs never really appealed to me. But now at this very instant in my life they do I feel like I need them to be a teenager and I know that sounds extremely juvenile and that no one needs them to have fun, and I'm not saying I need them, all I'm saying is that there should be something more to this high school experience. Something more something better or is this as good as it's gonna get?
I'm a sophomore and I have never once been to a high school party.... let me rephrase that I've never been to a party where illegal substances were involved. I don't necessarily want to go for the illegal substances I just want to go because it's part of high school and it's a part I have yet to experience.
I think all I'm trying to say is that things are changing and I am one of them, I have friends that I barely speak to anymore and it's not because we got into a fight it's just that we grew apart. and I have new wants I want what every high school-er wants -to fit in- sounds cliche I know but in so many ways it's true. I just want the standard high school experience. That's it.
I'm not completely sure that's the reason I feel the way I'm feeling right now. I just feel different like there's a void. I sort of feel like I'm not doing the teenage thing. I feel that by being "good" I'm missing out on the high school experience that everyone talks about years later. The sex the booze and the drugs never really appealed to me. But now at this very instant in my life they do I feel like I need them to be a teenager and I know that sounds extremely juvenile and that no one needs them to have fun, and I'm not saying I need them, all I'm saying is that there should be something more to this high school experience. Something more something better or is this as good as it's gonna get?
I'm a sophomore and I have never once been to a high school party.... let me rephrase that I've never been to a party where illegal substances were involved. I don't necessarily want to go for the illegal substances I just want to go because it's part of high school and it's a part I have yet to experience.
I think all I'm trying to say is that things are changing and I am one of them, I have friends that I barely speak to anymore and it's not because we got into a fight it's just that we grew apart. and I have new wants I want what every high school-er wants -to fit in- sounds cliche I know but in so many ways it's true. I just want the standard high school experience. That's it.
Monday, August 1, 2011
School... Blah
Hey everybody, I can honestly say that I'm not at all excited for school. I've seen most of my friends over the summer and I have no desire to return. Summer is way too short, e get what? 2 1/2 months and we used to get 3... I guess that it's not that big of a difference but still part of my beloved summer that I'll never get back. Who cares if were not that high up on the education list it's not because of a three month summer it's because America isn't that bright to begin with.... Don't get me wrong I know tons of smart people but there are lots of schools that just don't care about its students and therefore don't teach them and that's not gonna change by giving us more school. Well hope you enjoyed my rant on school!
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Howdy
Hey there, I'm not exactly sure what to write but here goes. This is my first blog and it probably wont be that great but whatever. If it's read it's read if not oh well. I'm on here because my Friend said something about it and I thought it'd be kinda cool. So anyway I'm young and I enjoy life because I don't want to be that person who looks back on life and says 'wow I wish I did something worth while'. I am grateful for every day I am here. I breathe deeply and try to see clearly. The people in my life are amazing and I wouldnt trade any of them for all the money in the world because if I did I'd be rich and lonely and thats noo fun at all.
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